I’m just gonna sit here and rant a little bit. So right now I’m sitting here on my couch writing this with 500 other thoughts tossing and turning in my head. I have math homework to do, a history map to fill out and notes to fill in. I have science vocab to make and memorize, I have a Spanish quiz Friday, a math test Thursday, A history test Friday, A paper due tomorrow, A revised paper due Thursday, two more blogs to do, and a short story to work on all in a matter of three days. I also have soccer practice tonight with the head recruiting coach from Mizzou attending to talk to some players. I’m running on like 4 hours of sleep and am super stressed. As students, we go to school for 7 hours, 5 days a week. And then after that whole dose of boredom and anxiety, we have to head home with 4 more hours of homework to complete. “You never spend time with us,” say, my parents. “well I would if I wasn’t swamped with hours of homework” is my reply. The teachers think that students are over dramatic about the amount of homework we are given but its no exaggeration when I say I’m up all night doing homework with barely any free time for me. If teachers have to rely on homework to see if we’re understanding the topics…then doesn’t that mean they’re not doing that great at teaching?? I think there should not be homework because it puts to much stress on teenagers which they already have enough of.

Today when I get home from school I have to go straight to the post office to get my passport. Next semester I will be in Spain for three months by myself doing online schooling and playing soccer with the U17 Barcelona team. I’m going to be apart of a group of 14 boys and girls who give up half a semester to play the sport they love overseas. The other 13 people range from age 15-19 and are coming from all over the world. I leave on December 20 with my family to sightsee for a week and then they will drop me off at the home I will be living in for three months. I get back April second and will have to renew my drivers permit and then get my driver’s license since I turn 16 while I’m there. I’m really excited to learn new things and I think it will be a great experience but I’m also terrified. I will be away from my family and friends for three months without a phone because our services don’t work over in Spain so I will have to use my computer to communicate. Also, I have never been out of the country and now I’m going out of the country for the first time and by myself. To make matters worse I have to be on the plane for 19 hours alone. I really hope while I’m gone my friends don’t forget about me because three months is a long time. I’m also worried about what to pack, I can only bring one suitcase and I’m there for three months!! I’m about to pack up my whole room and ship it to Spain. I love my bed and all my space in my room so sharing a room with a bunch of boys and girls will take some getting used too. I have about three months to prepare mentally, emotionally, and physically. I still have not told my best friend that I’m going and I’m trying to think of a way to tell him because it’s going to be really hard for both of us.

This past Friday night I went to the Lafayette Vs. Eureka football game with a friend who goes to Lafayette. I have a friend at Lafayette who I haven’t seen or talked too in a long time due to some circumstances. I went to the game hoping to talk to him. When I finally found him in the crowded stands I made eye contact with him for a brief moment, after that second passed he turned his back on me which surprised me. So later that evening when I walked past him I said hi and expected him to stop and chat. Nope, he gave me a simple nod of the head with a silent message of “I don’t have time for you, I have better things to do” I stood there stunned, registering what just happened. We were best friends, and..yes we were more than that just a few months ago. “Nothing will change, I will always be here for you,” He had told me not too long ago. Yet here we are. Friday night I went home and cried for hours trying to realize what I did wrong. I had to wake up at 5:00 the next morning to go out of town for soccer again and the 5-hour car ride just allowed me to listen to sad music and think about my sad life. depressing….I know. I’m still confused but I’m beginning to realize that I have more to life than him. I have friends and family and I know that eventually, we will probably go our separate ways. But there will always be a special place in my heart for him.

This weekend my soccer team and I traveled to Rockford Illinois for an MRL game. I had an amazing game and scored the game-winning goal 3-2. Every game is so important to win because we’re fighting for a place at nationals. I played wing defense the whole game and was marking number 12 on the other team. She had the biggest attitude and played dirty. She tried to get in my head and make dumb remarks to make me mad. Every time I would get the ball she would tug at my shorts and kick and hit me. I have never been taught to play dirty, but I have been taught to stand my ground. Eventually, I told her if she touched me one more time she would regret it. Sure enough, the next time I got the ball she and I battled it out as I dribbled down the field. We were slapping each other and pushing as I tried to maintain balance and keep possession of the ball. Finally, I took her jersey in my hands and twisted it around and ripped her to the ground. I was finally free from her torture and dribbled away with a feeling of pride. After that inccident, she didn’t try to mess with me. I had made it clear to her that I don’t mess around. I was happy that I had a good game because there were many college coaches watching. My goal was a give and go with one of my players and I had a one-touch shot far post that just barely made it in. I have another travel weekend next weekend so I’m excited about those games and hopefully will have another great game.

Everyone is getting ready for “the big day” (Homecoming.) I think homecoming is nice, and a great social event. But it also puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on students. All the boys feel pressured to ask a girl out and also do it in a cute way. These days its always a competition of “Who can do the cutest poster” or “Who can get the best gift” I can only imagine the stress it puts on guys to do it right. Then there is the pressure on girls. If a girl is asked by a guy who goes full out on a poster and gift, most girls feel bad for the guy and to save them both from embarrassment, they agree to go. It’s even worse when a guy asks a girl in front of a big group if they’re not dating. If a couple is dating then it’s really cute. But if a guy is just asking a girl and don’t know what her answer will be, then that’s when things can get awkward. Then there is the issue for if the guy will pay. Most girls expect the guy to pay but if you’re just going as friends then there is that silent question that hangs in the air of who will pay? Also, girls feel pressure to buy a $200 dress to impress there date or friends. And likely, they will never wear that dress again. Freshman thinks homecoming is this great thing which it is in a sense, but the amount of money put into it for one dance is unreasonable. My advice is don’t stress, there will be more dances and it’s really just a social event.

Have you ever lost a best friend? Well I’m basically in the process of that. I had three best friends at my old private school. One of them bailed on me because they got jealous of me hanging out with guys, and the other one is moving on from our friendship because of some things that happened and mistakes that were made. I never understood why we are given friends, and then there taken out of our lives. I would always dream about my wedding day and having my two best friends be bridesmaids. Now there not even apart of my life anymore. We did everything together, and were best friends for two years. And then in an instant, it was gone. Sometimes I will text them, asking how they are. But its never the same. They reply bluntly, trying to be nice, but they have new friends now. I had a best friend, we’ll call him David. We got in some trouble so I haven’t been able to see him for a while. It put a huge dent in the relationship and often I wonder if things will ever be what they used to be between us. I guess all I can do is wait and see if he thinks I’m worth fighting for. That’s what a true friend would do anyways. When I came to Marquette I was worried about making new friends. freshman year was hard and I didn’t make many friends, but Sophomore year has been much better and I’m learning to enjoy life no matter who is apart of it.

This past summer my Club soccer team and I traveled up to Indianaopliss for regionals. We were competing to make it to nationals. Instead of my main coach (Mike) leading us as a team he handed us off to two young coaches that recently graduated college. The two younger coaches favored there own players the whole weekend, and me and some other girls originally on Mike’s team were given hardly any playing time. Its not that the other girls were better then us, its that the coaches are immature and favor there own players over me and some other girls. The first game I played a total of 10 minutes out of a 90 minute game. At the end of the weekend I was pissed. That’s when the drama began.

“You should just quit the team if you don’t like your playing time” said one of the girls that had played lots of minutes that weekend but did not deserve them. our team ended up getting in a fight in the group message, That’s when everything got ugly. Ever sense that weekend, Every girl on the young coaches original team have made it there goal to not pass me the ball. Yesterday we played a friendly game and even though I would be wide open calling for the ball, they would rather lose the ball then pass to me. It has come to the point where if I want to get the ball, I have to run back from forward, defend, win it myself, and dribble up the field. My coaches don’t realize how our teams chemistry is damaged and that its affecting the game and how we play. I Have three tournaments coming up in September and I just hope that our team can work things out and that some of the girls ego’s drop drastically.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton